Practice does not make perfect

   I left a five mile zig-zag trail of snot, sweat, spit and tears through my neighborhood today.  I ran as long as I could, I walked when the stitch in my side took my breath, but my heart still hurts.  I dead lifted more today than I have ever lifted, I used every muscle in my body to move weight, but my heart still hurts.  I cleaned and breathed Lysol til all the dirt and grime were wiped away and everything looked perfect, but my heart still hurts. 
    I've done this before, I've told you good bye.  I've moved to a new place and met a new girl before.  I've spent time with you til you became my family.  I've made more best friends than any one person deserves and told them all goodbye before, but my heart still hurts.  You are in Kentwood, you are in Utah, you are in North Carolina, you are in Cartersville, and you are moving to West Virginia and Michigan.  I've hugged you and promised nothing will change knowing full well it will.  Life will get in the way.  Kids and husbands will need us, groceries don't buy themselves, errands will need to be run.   Life will become the new normal, but deep down my heart will still hurt. 
     Even when we don't talk you are in my thoughts.  The memories of growing up together flash through my day.  I see you in my children and I miss you.  I remember learning to be a wife with you.  I loved having you in the whirlwind of being a first time mom.  I leaned on you when I miscarried.  I cried on your shoulder over silly things.  You were the first one I told I was pregnant again.  We tried out recipes on each other, had too many play dates to count.  You ran my first race with me.  We packed pic-nicks and laid in the sun together while the kids splashed in the lake.  We let our kids fight like cousins and love each other like siblings.  I was one of the first to hold your sweet baby. 
     We have never once run out of things to talk about, and I love you for it.  I love you for simply being you.  I love you for listening to me grumble and gripe.  I love you for talking me down off the ledge when the world piles on my shoulders.  I love you for letting me know I am not alone in the battle field that is Motherhood.  We have laughed enough for two life times. Even when you didn't know it you helped me through every single day. You are my sister wife and I thank you for that. 
    I hope you forgive me for my lack of grace when it comes to goodbye.  Practice does not make perfect when it comes to this.  I've told my best friend goodbye more times than I care to count.  I will cry when we hug.  I will miss your kids just as much as I miss you.  No matter where we both live I will always be your chick.  No matter how much time passes we will talk just like I am standing beside you in your kitchen.  My heart is strong and it holds you so tight you couldn't escape me if you tried.  So we'll get this goodbye over with quick, like ripping a band aid.  I'll walk away and break down in my car around the corner.  We will do this and know that some things will change but know you will always be my best friend.