I became completely dependent on and driven by our work trips. I’ve earned seven incentive trips all over the world in the eight years I’ve been with Younique, I’ve even got to speak at a couple of conferences in Atlanta and here in Texas. Booking a flight, picking up friends at the airport and heading off to a girls weekend was my drug of choice. We all got to learn and laugh together while having a break from our daily lives. This will will forever be the best part of my life. Getting to be in the room with other mom as they just decompress laugh and cut up. I finally got to have fun, we all did. We actually acted like our kids while on vacation. We had an Indian leg wrestling tournament in our hotel room on one of our last trips. We all laughed so hard that joy leaked from the corners of our eyes. Every year when that video pops up on my Facebook memories, I laugh and I give myself a few minutes to sit and remember just how much fun My Tribe has had. I don’t know if the women who signed up under me know how much I love them. They have each saved my life- God sent them to call, check-in, become my friends any time I felt alone. When I had no light of my own they loaned me theirs and walked with me til I could find my way again.
I would go and be one of the older ladies at all of our conferences, the younger ladies having adapted to social media and technology more than a lot of us Gen X moms. I am fiercely proud of the “old Broads” that have joined me. I see their names on on Top Ten Leaderboards out of 50,000 women… My Tribe worked harder and dominated. They outshined all while driving minivans, working full time, being room moms.
We all just met and decided to be friends, because we wanted the same things: a little bit of spending money, a way to have a minute where we got to concentrate on ourselves. For me, it was getting dressed every morning and talking to my friends on my Facebook lives. I got to know so many people by sharing my life while experimenting with putting make up on. I realize it started to heal me. In many ways I began to have self-worth every time a new friend reached out and asked if I could help her feel prettier. I’ll never stop helping women feel beautiful, that is a life’s mission of mine, aside from the makeup.
I’ve helped direct women to our Haven Retreat for adult survivors of childhood sexual abuse. I began to get comfortable sharing information and telling parents how to protect their children by having plain and simple conversations to make sure they stayed safe. As my confidence grew I shared more. People that may not buy make up have messaged me over the years to say thank you. I helped them be able to talk to their child about boundaries, this is why sharing my story matters. I need sharing I began to heal a lot of my own past with an assault that happened when I was 24.
It’s some times overwhelming, but I felt like I needed to share because I wanted other women to heal in the way that I had. I still don’t talk openly about the assault and prefer to not answer questions, its hard to visit in my mind. But in sharing I’ve been messaged in the past three years by over 35 women disclosing their own assaults to me. Some reached out to get information on what kind of therapy has helped me(EMDR). A few have made it to the Haven retreat to begin their healing journey. Sharing my story matters.
I’ve connected with other leaders in Younique and we’ve been each other’s touch point over the past several years encouraging each other to continue seeking healing and recovery. I was able to hit my biggest career goals while getting help to stop drinking. After the assault I numbed with alcohol to be able to go to sleep, be in groups, and always to black out so I could forget my birthday.
Instead of feeling ousted or set apart when I quit drinking, My Tribe folded their arms around me. They stayed with me every second of my first convention sober. They didn’t let me go anywhere by myself when I was struggling with the social anxiety of being around thousands of people. They literally held my hand as I learned to do life without wine.
Younique was and is the safest place I’ve ever been. A company based on protecting children, run by mama bears. It was built by a brother and sister, that wanted to provide a way to fund a healing program for adult who’ve been sexually molested as children. There couldn’t have been a more perfect place for me to wind up. I signed up for a multi level marketing company because my friend sent me a used mascara. I wanted to go on a trip like she just got back from. I didn’t know she was saving my life by telling me “I think you’d be great at doing what I do”. At that moment she was my hope dealer and I’m forever grateful.
Working with bunch a of moms, slinging mascara has been one of the greatest joys of my life. We really did run the world for a few years. I will hold on now, just like I have had to learn to do in the past. I go in and out of having faith in a God that I felt abandoned me on my 24th birthday. I’m learning that he didn’t abandon me, in my darkest hours he was preparing My Tribe. I’m hard to reach, so it’s taken an army of women to Uplift, Empower and Validate me until I could see God in my life again. My Great Couselor couldn’t reach me in church, I struggle in large groups and can’t hear God I’m being hyper vigilant. The Creator literally made me a Haven and knew it had to be unique- all female- for me to be able to recover . My Holy Spirit called in the right women to love me through til I could love myself again.
We are taught to “Find your Why?” Why do you do what you do? I thought I sold makeup to make money but I was wrong. I do this to lead others to heal. I share so parents can become comfortable talking to their kids, to point them to the Saprea.org site for tools to make talking easier. The Spray Foundation my be retiring, but mascara saved my life. A little tube of makeup has saved the lives of many other survivors who are struggling. I will keep sharing, keeping telling women “I think you would be great at doing what I do”. I’ll keep reaching out and maybe I’ll be someone else’s hope dealer because it has always been SO much more than mascara.