Little monster has been busy. Now that his verbal skills are right up there with ninety percent of college freshman he can demand new and better things. Little Monster was recently seen out campaigning. He's promising his constituents less naps and more junk if they join his march against order.
Little Monster has coerced Princess Poo to be his second in command. In exchange for him picking her up and dragging her around the living room, she will use her powers of poo against mom. The two of them are really funny. They squeal and laugh at just about anything, they are definitely a united front.
Little Monster is the spokes person for my dynamic duo. Being that he's the only one speaking English it just makes sense. He now asks for things on Tate's behalf: "Mom she wants to be carried by me", "Mom let her stay in the tub for just two more minutes". Princess Poo yells her agreement and the two soggy monsters get a few more minutes in the tub.
Little Monster, cunning charmer that he is, is using Tate's lack of language to his advantage. "Mom Tate wants me to get a trampoline so she can bounce too". Tate also frequently wants to watch Power Rangers and stay up late.
Life with monsters is interesting to say the least. I am so happy that my monsters both belong to the same union. They work with each other, which is everything I always wanted
Monday, November 12, 2007
Thursday, November 8, 2007
Ramblings of a Sleepless Woman
I need a sick day. Maybe not a sick day just a pass to get out of a day. I brought Turner to the doctor today for a flu shot. He was great the whole time til he saw the needle and was told he had to pull his pants down. My heart broke for him.
Brad has never been with our kids to the doctor except for a couple emergency room trips. He's never seen his baby get stuck with a needle. Worse, he's never seen the look they give you, like you betrayed them. How could Mom let someone hurt them like this? Even worse, how could Mom hold them down to be hurt?
I need Brad to take Turner back in thirty days for the other half of the flu shot for Turner. He's bigger and older. It's no longer a nasty surprise, he knows it's coming. He can also tell me that it hurts and scream for me to make them stop. I know it's good for him, hell, I made the appointment. It just kills me to watch my baby be in pain, even for that short little bit of time.
These are the times when I thank God over and over for giving me healthy kids. I like to think I am strong and tough, but I haven't had to watch over a really sick child before and hope I never have to.
My hormones are riding on a pretty good roller coaster here lately. When Turner was about four months old I left him for the fist time ever with my friend Nikki. I went and chopped off all my hair and dyed it black with neon pink highlights. My hormones were making me crazy them too. Tomorrow I am going to chop off all my hair again. No pink, out of respect for my sister's up coming wedding. I think it's my way of rebelling against the new constraints of life with an infant. Not rebelling against Tate, just the new found lack of freedom.
It is incredible to have a little soul who wants me non stop all day and all night. It's addictive, worse than any drug. Having a baby is better than the rush from a new relationship. It's falling in love with someone so totally that you even think their poop is cute. But it is also all consuming and exhausting. Or, am I supposed to say that? Well, it is exhausting.
I find myself day dreaming of a night where all I do is sleep for six or maybe seven hours in a row. But then I think she'll only be tiny for a bit longer, so enjoy every minute of it, both night and day. Sleep deprivation is a funny thing. It's like stepping through the looking glass, what a wonder land I live in. Maybe that's why I smile like the Cheshire cat, my life is perfect all turned upside down.
Brad has never been with our kids to the doctor except for a couple emergency room trips. He's never seen his baby get stuck with a needle. Worse, he's never seen the look they give you, like you betrayed them. How could Mom let someone hurt them like this? Even worse, how could Mom hold them down to be hurt?
I need Brad to take Turner back in thirty days for the other half of the flu shot for Turner. He's bigger and older. It's no longer a nasty surprise, he knows it's coming. He can also tell me that it hurts and scream for me to make them stop. I know it's good for him, hell, I made the appointment. It just kills me to watch my baby be in pain, even for that short little bit of time.
These are the times when I thank God over and over for giving me healthy kids. I like to think I am strong and tough, but I haven't had to watch over a really sick child before and hope I never have to.
My hormones are riding on a pretty good roller coaster here lately. When Turner was about four months old I left him for the fist time ever with my friend Nikki. I went and chopped off all my hair and dyed it black with neon pink highlights. My hormones were making me crazy them too. Tomorrow I am going to chop off all my hair again. No pink, out of respect for my sister's up coming wedding. I think it's my way of rebelling against the new constraints of life with an infant. Not rebelling against Tate, just the new found lack of freedom.
It is incredible to have a little soul who wants me non stop all day and all night. It's addictive, worse than any drug. Having a baby is better than the rush from a new relationship. It's falling in love with someone so totally that you even think their poop is cute. But it is also all consuming and exhausting. Or, am I supposed to say that? Well, it is exhausting.
I find myself day dreaming of a night where all I do is sleep for six or maybe seven hours in a row. But then I think she'll only be tiny for a bit longer, so enjoy every minute of it, both night and day. Sleep deprivation is a funny thing. It's like stepping through the looking glass, what a wonder land I live in. Maybe that's why I smile like the Cheshire cat, my life is perfect all turned upside down.
Monday, November 5, 2007
Three Years
I am learning that moving is a bit like breaking in a new pair of shoes. I liked my old shoes. They were comfy, soft, had lots of character marks and fit me perfect. Then I moved, nothing fit, I didn't know where anything was, didn't know anyone, and pouted a bit. Moving, much like buying new shoes, requires you to get off your butt and walk around, so I have.
Once I got myself up out of the house I discovered that Cartesville isn't as terrible I initially thought. I know my way around so I feel less claustrophobic now. I'm trying. I am following my own advice and getting involved in new things, church for one.
Utah will always be the place that I had both of my babies. Now Georgia is the place where Turner turned three. My sweet lil boy turned three this past weekend. In his short life he's lived in three houses, three cities, and two states. I know the three years have gone by, I have a boy who now stands more than half my height to prove it. I just can't quiet figure out how three years went by so fast.
I guess if you combined the time I spend at each chore it really has been three years since I became a mom. Twenty four months wiping a little tush, twelve months rocking and patting a tiny back, eight sleepless months, two months spent answering "What's that?", and one thousand ninety five days spent thanking God for the miracle I named Turner. I guess all that ads up to more than three years.
Kids take your life and super size it. I used to think my days were full when all I had to do was go to school, work, and hang out with my friends. Now I do all of that by nine a.m. and still have twelve more hours of things to get done before I can even think of a bath and getting into bed.
I have enjoyed the past three years more than I thought anyone could enjoy life. I have two new sets of eyes to see everything through. My birthday used to be the best day of the year, now everyday that I get to spend with the world's best boy and the world's greatest girl is like Christmas and my birthday all rolled into one.
Now that Turner's in school I have new things to look forward to. My son now has a part of his life that doesn't involve Mommy, but he still chooses to share it with me. The ride home after I pick him up is the best. He tells me what all he did that day, sings me new songs, and gives me works of art that would make Van Gogh himself green with envy. While he's at school I also get to steal away a little time with my Tater-bug. She gurgles and coos and melts my heart even more.
Who knows what the next three years will bring? If the first three are any indication life will just keep getting better and better.
Once I got myself up out of the house I discovered that Cartesville isn't as terrible I initially thought. I know my way around so I feel less claustrophobic now. I'm trying. I am following my own advice and getting involved in new things, church for one.
Utah will always be the place that I had both of my babies. Now Georgia is the place where Turner turned three. My sweet lil boy turned three this past weekend. In his short life he's lived in three houses, three cities, and two states. I know the three years have gone by, I have a boy who now stands more than half my height to prove it. I just can't quiet figure out how three years went by so fast.
I guess if you combined the time I spend at each chore it really has been three years since I became a mom. Twenty four months wiping a little tush, twelve months rocking and patting a tiny back, eight sleepless months, two months spent answering "What's that?", and one thousand ninety five days spent thanking God for the miracle I named Turner. I guess all that ads up to more than three years.
Kids take your life and super size it. I used to think my days were full when all I had to do was go to school, work, and hang out with my friends. Now I do all of that by nine a.m. and still have twelve more hours of things to get done before I can even think of a bath and getting into bed.
I have enjoyed the past three years more than I thought anyone could enjoy life. I have two new sets of eyes to see everything through. My birthday used to be the best day of the year, now everyday that I get to spend with the world's best boy and the world's greatest girl is like Christmas and my birthday all rolled into one.
Now that Turner's in school I have new things to look forward to. My son now has a part of his life that doesn't involve Mommy, but he still chooses to share it with me. The ride home after I pick him up is the best. He tells me what all he did that day, sings me new songs, and gives me works of art that would make Van Gogh himself green with envy. While he's at school I also get to steal away a little time with my Tater-bug. She gurgles and coos and melts my heart even more.
Who knows what the next three years will bring? If the first three are any indication life will just keep getting better and better.
Sunday, October 28, 2007
Me Me Me
Life has been busy as of late. Running Turner to school, going to the gym, getting groceries, cooking supper, cleaning house. But amidst the hum of all that's ordinary are moments that are extraordinary.
As we all know Halloween is fast approaching. Turner is going to be the mighty blue Power Ranger, and has been asking me to be the pink Power Ranger. After looking everywhere for a non-skanky costume I gave up and told him that Mommy would just be a witch. My lil boy answered me and said "But Mommy, you aren't a witch, you're my princess, be a princess." My apologies to any girl or woman who in the far off future thinks she will be remotely good enough to even contemplate dating my little prince charming, because no woman alive will ever be good enough!
I am trying to commit to memory every funny thing Turner says or every look on Tate's face when they are playing together. I want to always remember that every time we pass the petting zoo on the way to his school he asks where the "Cantaloupes" (camels) are. I want to always remember the smell of my babies, the softness of their heads pressed against my cheek. I have been trying to concentrate on all that is good in my life, and there is a lot.
While I am being thankful and grateful life keeps getting in my way. I will always remember the smell of sour spit-up, dirty diapers, billy goat mixed with feet smelling two year olds. I want to remember the softness is their voices, not the headaches their crying gave me.
I have been having one of those spells where I just don't want to do anything. I don't have any desire to cook, I dread folding clothes, why do I always have to do the dishes? I hope all moms go through these little crappy attitude spells and it's not just me. I think that the excitement of moving has worn off. The house is unpacked and now beckons to be cared for. The babies need constant attention, my husband always needs shirts ironed and lunches packed. Why do I feel guilty for just wanting a day that I do nothing. I don't' want to be asked to fix oatmeal, I don't want to have to cook, I want my clothes washed and put away for me. I want to bathe when I feel like it, with no one crying and making me rush. I want to eat dinner, go sit down and watch what I want on TV with out worrying about the dishes and the left-overs. I want to sleep all the way through the night and sleep late the next morning. I want to go to the mall with out a list or a stroller, shop for as long as I wish and try on everything I want.
I am selfish. Most of the time I like being needed by everyone in my family. Most of the time I cherish my time with the kids. Most of the time I like being domestic and helping make Brad's day a little easier. Most of the time, but not today. Today I want the things that aren't afforded to a mother of two small children.
I think if I was given this magical day where I didn't have a care in the world or any responsibilties I would be bored out of my mind. Turner and Tate fill every moment of the day and night for me. I love my time with each of them. They are both funny, insightful, amazing little human beings that I am proud to have had a part in making. The trick is being able to appreciate all you have even when you're mood is sour. So I am trying to breathe in all the little moments that make up my crazy life, both the good and the bad. Perhaps I will run away with the circus one day, but for now I'll continue to lead the three rings right here at home.
As we all know Halloween is fast approaching. Turner is going to be the mighty blue Power Ranger, and has been asking me to be the pink Power Ranger. After looking everywhere for a non-skanky costume I gave up and told him that Mommy would just be a witch. My lil boy answered me and said "But Mommy, you aren't a witch, you're my princess, be a princess." My apologies to any girl or woman who in the far off future thinks she will be remotely good enough to even contemplate dating my little prince charming, because no woman alive will ever be good enough!
I am trying to commit to memory every funny thing Turner says or every look on Tate's face when they are playing together. I want to always remember that every time we pass the petting zoo on the way to his school he asks where the "Cantaloupes" (camels) are. I want to always remember the smell of my babies, the softness of their heads pressed against my cheek. I have been trying to concentrate on all that is good in my life, and there is a lot.
While I am being thankful and grateful life keeps getting in my way. I will always remember the smell of sour spit-up, dirty diapers, billy goat mixed with feet smelling two year olds. I want to remember the softness is their voices, not the headaches their crying gave me.
I have been having one of those spells where I just don't want to do anything. I don't have any desire to cook, I dread folding clothes, why do I always have to do the dishes? I hope all moms go through these little crappy attitude spells and it's not just me. I think that the excitement of moving has worn off. The house is unpacked and now beckons to be cared for. The babies need constant attention, my husband always needs shirts ironed and lunches packed. Why do I feel guilty for just wanting a day that I do nothing. I don't' want to be asked to fix oatmeal, I don't want to have to cook, I want my clothes washed and put away for me. I want to bathe when I feel like it, with no one crying and making me rush. I want to eat dinner, go sit down and watch what I want on TV with out worrying about the dishes and the left-overs. I want to sleep all the way through the night and sleep late the next morning. I want to go to the mall with out a list or a stroller, shop for as long as I wish and try on everything I want.
I am selfish. Most of the time I like being needed by everyone in my family. Most of the time I cherish my time with the kids. Most of the time I like being domestic and helping make Brad's day a little easier. Most of the time, but not today. Today I want the things that aren't afforded to a mother of two small children.
I think if I was given this magical day where I didn't have a care in the world or any responsibilties I would be bored out of my mind. Turner and Tate fill every moment of the day and night for me. I love my time with each of them. They are both funny, insightful, amazing little human beings that I am proud to have had a part in making. The trick is being able to appreciate all you have even when you're mood is sour. So I am trying to breathe in all the little moments that make up my crazy life, both the good and the bad. Perhaps I will run away with the circus one day, but for now I'll continue to lead the three rings right here at home.
Thursday, October 18, 2007
Too Busy to What?
My baby boy is growing up, he started preschool this week. On Wednesday morning I drove Turner to school, the whole trip watching for Lil Monster's horns. Lil Monster must have been sleeping in, because Turner is who I dropped off and Turner is who I picked up.
On the way to school I caught myself getting teary eyed. I also took notes on how hyper paranoid I am. How could I, Queen of the Universe, let Turner go and be taken care of by mere mortals? They might not make him wash his hands before he eats, they might let him jump off of the monkey bars, they might let him eat too much sugar, or pick his nose. Despite my fears he had a wonderful day and is ready to go back tomorrow.
I will learn to enjoy my new alone time with Tate instead of spending it looking at the clock. I will even enjoy that Turner now has a part of his life that doesn't involve me.
Turner and I came home on Wednesday, ate lunch, had a cookie and we were talking about his day. Out of no where my son, my not even three year old little boy, farted so loudly I thought it must have blown the back of his pants to smithereens. After asking him if he was alright I started to laugh, after all when is a toot not funny? Turner looked right at me and said " I was just too busy to toot today". This made me fall on the floor. I asked what he meant. He said he was just so busy that he forgot he had to toot. I hope once I get used to our new little schedule that I fill the time up so much that I too will be too busy to toot.
On the way to school I caught myself getting teary eyed. I also took notes on how hyper paranoid I am. How could I, Queen of the Universe, let Turner go and be taken care of by mere mortals? They might not make him wash his hands before he eats, they might let him jump off of the monkey bars, they might let him eat too much sugar, or pick his nose. Despite my fears he had a wonderful day and is ready to go back tomorrow.
I will learn to enjoy my new alone time with Tate instead of spending it looking at the clock. I will even enjoy that Turner now has a part of his life that doesn't involve me.
Turner and I came home on Wednesday, ate lunch, had a cookie and we were talking about his day. Out of no where my son, my not even three year old little boy, farted so loudly I thought it must have blown the back of his pants to smithereens. After asking him if he was alright I started to laugh, after all when is a toot not funny? Turner looked right at me and said " I was just too busy to toot today". This made me fall on the floor. I asked what he meant. He said he was just so busy that he forgot he had to toot. I hope once I get used to our new little schedule that I fill the time up so much that I too will be too busy to toot.
Wednesday, October 3, 2007
Stranger in a Strange Land
So we're here. I am feeling a bit out of place. If I am a Southerner, why does Georgia feel so strange? Well, I think it's because I am a Southern girl who grew to like city living. I feel like I stick out here. After three odd years in Utah I picked up lots of Utah habits. Modesty- Quit laughing all you LDS friends. I am a habit wearing nun compared to the hoochy skirt wearing tube top clad women who parade around half naked here. Being thrifty- not popular here. No everyone has to get bigger SUV's to keep up the the Bubba's next door. My eyes popped out of my head at the grocery store. Ingles would shut down if it were in Utah, no good Mormon mom would pay $4.89 for a box of corn flakes, they wait for the ten for ten sale at Macey's and buy a six month supply. Hoarding(I mean food storage) no potato pearls here.
Well marked street signs really make it easy to get around a new town, but missing ones give a place character. Let's just say Cartersville has lots of character. I am slowly learning my way around, and everything around here runs slowly. To get to anything I have to drive fifteen minutes, not unbearable. I miss being able to walk to the grocery or ride my bike to the vegetable stand.
This just doesn't feel like home, but I know I must give it a little longer than a week. I am trying but my frustration is getting the best of me. There are no Stay At Home Moms that I can find. Southerners think that we are the most family centered American sub-culture. We also brag about our friendliness. We'll as a person whose has lived in a few US states, the South does not hold the title for either. Don't get me wrong, they are friendly, everyone and their mama waves hello and goodbye to anyone who passes on the street. But I have yet to be brought a tray of cookies or and inedible Jello desert as a welcome to the neighborhood. If family is so important why have I not seen any? Just people, no moms and kids running around during the day. Cartersville is in no way a small town, but it is still small enough that people know who is and isn't from here. I sense a stand off feeling when meeting the locals. They are friendly, from a nice safe distance. The houses here are more spread out. It is nice to have a big yard but makes for a big barrier between neighbors.
Maybe it is all in my head. Maybe I am not giving enough of a chance to Cartersville. Utah is just a hard act to follow. I am seeking out other crazy at-homers, but local statues are preventing any success. I need a library card. To get one I need a utility bill in my name- no luck, Brad set them all up in his name. I could also use a Georgia drivers license-no luck. I tried to get one but failed to bring in my birth certificate, marriage license, and bank statement. My documents are still packed up here somewhere. So instead of cyber bitching perhaps I should get back to box unpacking. Hopefully I will be a card carrying resident of Bartow County in another week, then we'll see what all I can find to get into.
Well marked street signs really make it easy to get around a new town, but missing ones give a place character. Let's just say Cartersville has lots of character. I am slowly learning my way around, and everything around here runs slowly. To get to anything I have to drive fifteen minutes, not unbearable. I miss being able to walk to the grocery or ride my bike to the vegetable stand.
This just doesn't feel like home, but I know I must give it a little longer than a week. I am trying but my frustration is getting the best of me. There are no Stay At Home Moms that I can find. Southerners think that we are the most family centered American sub-culture. We also brag about our friendliness. We'll as a person whose has lived in a few US states, the South does not hold the title for either. Don't get me wrong, they are friendly, everyone and their mama waves hello and goodbye to anyone who passes on the street. But I have yet to be brought a tray of cookies or and inedible Jello desert as a welcome to the neighborhood. If family is so important why have I not seen any? Just people, no moms and kids running around during the day. Cartersville is in no way a small town, but it is still small enough that people know who is and isn't from here. I sense a stand off feeling when meeting the locals. They are friendly, from a nice safe distance. The houses here are more spread out. It is nice to have a big yard but makes for a big barrier between neighbors.
Maybe it is all in my head. Maybe I am not giving enough of a chance to Cartersville. Utah is just a hard act to follow. I am seeking out other crazy at-homers, but local statues are preventing any success. I need a library card. To get one I need a utility bill in my name- no luck, Brad set them all up in his name. I could also use a Georgia drivers license-no luck. I tried to get one but failed to bring in my birth certificate, marriage license, and bank statement. My documents are still packed up here somewhere. So instead of cyber bitching perhaps I should get back to box unpacking. Hopefully I will be a card carrying resident of Bartow County in another week, then we'll see what all I can find to get into.
Friday, September 14, 2007
See You Tomorrow
Denial is my thing. I plan to go on like nothing is changing, even though I'll be leaving Utah on Monday. I am still going to friends houses, staying, watching our kids play, talking, and laughing like my life is not about to be turned upside down. I am great at denial and I am comfortable using it to get through these last few days here.
God makes your heart grow when you have kids. Mine got so much bigger, not only for my children but bigger for all people. It is so much easier to look at a situation and place myself in it now than it was before baby boy and baby girl came into my life. Before T-n-T I was annoyed by peoples kids running around, now I know it's better for them to run than to cry. Before my dynamic duo being late was inconsiderate, now it's what happens when there's poop on Tate's clothes or we can't find Turner's bear. Before my two sticks of dynamite I was me and now I am one of you- the moms. I think that's why my heart grew so much, so I could give pieces of it away.
I have been having to say a lot of goodbyes today. I want to stay a little too long, talk just a few minutes more, get in all my time with you. How do I go through my day with out Becky calling to make sure I am not sleeping late, and who will call at five for the daily recap? What do I do on Tuesdays at ten if I'm not meeting Tyna to let Turner go on a date with his girlfriend while our daughters grow together in front of our eyes? If Janisha isn't next door whose tree will I sit under and comiserate with? Will Lindsie still call during nap time and speak in hushed tones to not wake the sleeping babes? Kaleb and Kira will be too far to ride the four wheeler over to race around the yard.
How will I get through my days? All of you are my days. You are the women I have depended on. Each of you have been with me through some great times and some really bad ones.
Becky I met you when I moved to Orem, two souls looking for a friend in a Chuck-E-Cheese. Sounds like a great country western song doesn't it? I love your wit, your sense of humor, and your daughter. You are my vacuum-er. You came and vacuumed my floor during the hardest time of my life. I had just had a miscarriage and was not handling the everyday life tasks, you came and helped. You helped me more than you'll ever know. You've helped me pack and you vacuumed again. You always know when I need to tidy up, not so much my house but my mood. You brighten everything that surrounds you, I love you.
Tyna you were my husband's "Work Wife", and we weren't even in Utah. I feel like we grew up together. Phoenix was a wild time. We had all of our kids together, even though "together" sometimes meant talking on the phone over thousands of miles. You know when to call. I am not sure if you know how much I love when your name pops up on the ID. You understand the lifestyle of construction. You know the moves come too often and the true friends are hard to find. I am so glad I found you.
Janisha you are my ice cream lady. One of the most meaningful gifts I have ever been given was a pint of chocolate ice cream with marshmallows and almonds. I had just started to miscarry. You didn't say the typical "It's for the best" you knew it hurt like hell and nothing about it felt like it was for the best. You let me be scared and mad, but you brought me ice cream. Nothing anyone could have said would have made me feel better, but knowing you were there was the best thing in the world for me.
Lindsey you are my Pampered Chef. I met you at a party, you walked in as fresh as a breeze. I loved talking to you from our first encounter. Every time I have red polish on my toenails I will think of you and I so pregnant it hurt, getting our pedicures together.
Kira you were my blind date. We got to know each other on mom's night out. I feel a close bond to you, something about going through a really rough time along with another person makes them forever special to me.
So I can tell you all goodbye if I type it. I can't say the words to you, I can't take the tears. Turner has been telling me that we'll see all of you again. He doesn't know how right he is. When he sings louder than anyone else I'll see Olivia Z. singing right there with him. When he says "Watch this" I'll see Olivia O. the dare devil. When popsicles run down his face and arms I'll see Dallan and Makye. When he's in a group of big boys playing rough I'll see Tyler and Kaleb. So I know with out a doubt I'll see all of you and your kids again. I love each of you beyond your understanding. So If I am a little short in our goodbyes, it's because I am only so strong and this is something I can't take. So let's just say I'll see you tomorrow...
God makes your heart grow when you have kids. Mine got so much bigger, not only for my children but bigger for all people. It is so much easier to look at a situation and place myself in it now than it was before baby boy and baby girl came into my life. Before T-n-T I was annoyed by peoples kids running around, now I know it's better for them to run than to cry. Before my dynamic duo being late was inconsiderate, now it's what happens when there's poop on Tate's clothes or we can't find Turner's bear. Before my two sticks of dynamite I was me and now I am one of you- the moms. I think that's why my heart grew so much, so I could give pieces of it away.
I have been having to say a lot of goodbyes today. I want to stay a little too long, talk just a few minutes more, get in all my time with you. How do I go through my day with out Becky calling to make sure I am not sleeping late, and who will call at five for the daily recap? What do I do on Tuesdays at ten if I'm not meeting Tyna to let Turner go on a date with his girlfriend while our daughters grow together in front of our eyes? If Janisha isn't next door whose tree will I sit under and comiserate with? Will Lindsie still call during nap time and speak in hushed tones to not wake the sleeping babes? Kaleb and Kira will be too far to ride the four wheeler over to race around the yard.
How will I get through my days? All of you are my days. You are the women I have depended on. Each of you have been with me through some great times and some really bad ones.
Becky I met you when I moved to Orem, two souls looking for a friend in a Chuck-E-Cheese. Sounds like a great country western song doesn't it? I love your wit, your sense of humor, and your daughter. You are my vacuum-er. You came and vacuumed my floor during the hardest time of my life. I had just had a miscarriage and was not handling the everyday life tasks, you came and helped. You helped me more than you'll ever know. You've helped me pack and you vacuumed again. You always know when I need to tidy up, not so much my house but my mood. You brighten everything that surrounds you, I love you.
Tyna you were my husband's "Work Wife", and we weren't even in Utah. I feel like we grew up together. Phoenix was a wild time. We had all of our kids together, even though "together" sometimes meant talking on the phone over thousands of miles. You know when to call. I am not sure if you know how much I love when your name pops up on the ID. You understand the lifestyle of construction. You know the moves come too often and the true friends are hard to find. I am so glad I found you.
Janisha you are my ice cream lady. One of the most meaningful gifts I have ever been given was a pint of chocolate ice cream with marshmallows and almonds. I had just started to miscarry. You didn't say the typical "It's for the best" you knew it hurt like hell and nothing about it felt like it was for the best. You let me be scared and mad, but you brought me ice cream. Nothing anyone could have said would have made me feel better, but knowing you were there was the best thing in the world for me.
Lindsey you are my Pampered Chef. I met you at a party, you walked in as fresh as a breeze. I loved talking to you from our first encounter. Every time I have red polish on my toenails I will think of you and I so pregnant it hurt, getting our pedicures together.
Kira you were my blind date. We got to know each other on mom's night out. I feel a close bond to you, something about going through a really rough time along with another person makes them forever special to me.
So I can tell you all goodbye if I type it. I can't say the words to you, I can't take the tears. Turner has been telling me that we'll see all of you again. He doesn't know how right he is. When he sings louder than anyone else I'll see Olivia Z. singing right there with him. When he says "Watch this" I'll see Olivia O. the dare devil. When popsicles run down his face and arms I'll see Dallan and Makye. When he's in a group of big boys playing rough I'll see Tyler and Kaleb. So I know with out a doubt I'll see all of you and your kids again. I love each of you beyond your understanding. So If I am a little short in our goodbyes, it's because I am only so strong and this is something I can't take. So let's just say I'll see you tomorrow...
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