Ghost of Christmas Past

      I'm sitting here in my quiet house.  My kids are playing outide with neighbors, Sweetness is taking a nap.  This could be any day of the year, except it's Christmas Eve.  I'm trying to be busy, cleaning, packing, cooking, but my mind is rambling.  A couple weeks ago my Gran was diagnosed with terminal cancer.  No one knows where it started from, how long she's had it, all they know is it's every where and it's moving fast.  It's doubtful that she will see New Years. 
     So now you know why my mind is spinning, time to let out all the mental clutter:
   I had two very differnt grandmothers with almost the same name.  Flois and Floyce.  My Gran is who is in the nursing home right now and wandering thru my mind.  She wasn't the warm cudly grandmother who covered you in kisses.  The entire time I was growing up she didn't even put our pictures up in the front part of her house, not the proper way to decorate you see.  She is my prim and proper grandmother, so unlike my Mawmaw.  Mawmaw was the  warm snuggly grandmother.  Gran is not a woman who doles out affection or  "i love you's" She just isn't comfortable with that. I sit here thinikng of all the ways we spent time together, and her love shines through in the time spent with Tabba and I and the paitience she had with us. 
    Gran sewed all of our fancy christmas and Easter dresses when we were growing up, I didn't appreciate just how much work that took til I was grown and sewing a few things for my own daughter.  We spent many nights at gran and Gramp's house, she was always fun.  We made innumerable cookies and treats for every holiday in her kitchen. She spent about a week of my life teaching me to roll dough into a ball the size of a small walnut.  As I sit here looking back a few things are striking me.  She always let us play in her kitchen.  Tabitha and I made some kind of concoction out of all of her fancy spices and what ever else we could get our hands on.  She never fussed, she would hand us new stuff to dump in our mixing bowls and dutifully pretend to eat every creation.  Gran also always let us play in her expensive makeup.  Tabitha and I would slap so much Este Lauder on that we looked like rabid clowns, and Gran would just laugh and clean us up.  Being wasteful and silly are not things my Gran would ever abide by, except, she let us be just that every time we came over. 
      Gran also cooked for our family every saturday night and sunday after church.  She would make huge meals and we all ate together, prayed together and then watched HeeHaw together.  She put so much work and time into us. 
       My best memories of my Gran are of Christmas Eve.  Every Christmas Eve we went to church with my Gran and Gramp to thier candlelight service.  It's a very importnat night to a child because they let me hold a real live lit candle.  After the songs and the service I would be dieng to get back to Gran's house, knowing that presents were waiting for us all.  Gran was a show stopper when it came to food.  She always believed that fifty percent of cooking was held in the presentation of the food.  Every Christmas Eve she out did herslf.  We would walk in and she had more cookies, tarts, pies, candies, and punch than the six of us could eat in a month.  Everything would be just so, on it's own stand or in a colorful dish. 
      I guess in the love languages thinking Gran would be an acts of service and a quality Time type of gal. As a child I just couldn't understand her stand-off-ish nature.  Turns out she was never trying to be prickly, she was showing love in the only ways she felt comfortable.

Hands on Hips smiles on Lips

   I have been slacking on the blog here lately.  School starting, football and cheer leading practices and games, and life in general has been keeping us very, very busy.  So here's my lil re-cap.  God has guided us to another fantastic school!  My kids are so happy since school started.  They have met wonderful kids and they love their teachers.  I am one of Tate's room moms and I help with Turner's class as well.  I always feel awkward jumping into these kind of positions, I fear I won't get everything done "the right way".  I'm discovering my perfectionism can be quite a handicap.  Thankfully there is  a fantastic group of experienced room moms helping me get all the crazy parties and crafts together, and I appreciate them more than they know.
    During football season I got to be Tate's cheer coach.  Talk about an experience that is out of my wheel house.  I have never cheered a single cheer in my life.  I have never been so nervous to get up in front of eight little girls in my life, not to mention all the parents at all our practices.  I learned so much from these girls and ended up having an awesome time.  They really didn't care that I was a less than spectacular coach or that I didn't know the cheers, they were just happy to have someone to spend time with them and pay them undivided attention.  At our practices the head coach would call the girls to attention by yelling "Hands on hips, smiles on lips!".  At first I thought this was just cute, but I started seeing it as a really smart mantra for life as our season went on.  At one of the games our Freshman Bucs were loosing, and one of my sweet girls informed me that we still needed our smiles on lips and hands on our hips.  Snap, life lessons from a six year old.  We cheered our hearts out both in the games we won and the games we lost.  I say we because I cheered every cheer and my heart stood on the line with my boy on every play.  Lord help me, the most exciting football season of my life.  I can not imagine feeling more fortunate to have a healthy son and daughter playing on the same field. 
     In the middle of our first season of Texas football our house grew by three feet. We adopted a puppy from a local shelter.  Tinker is missing part of her hind leg.  She of course has no clue, she is fast and ferocious I'd be scared to see how much faster she'd be with all four feet.  This is another thing I've enjoyed learning through- be happy, even if something is missing.
    Part of my heart is still in Macon.  I miss fall, the kids raking leaves, and building the tree fort.  I miss 227 time on my neighbors front stoop.  Summer here was easier to get through, the beach is a wonderful thing.  The pull of salt water and sunshine was big enough to distract me from the missing part of my heart.  But I'm learning to still be happy, to quit thinking of my heart as missing a part, rather it's just spread out across the miles.    So on I go with hands on hips and smiles on lips.  
     We have started a new Christmas tradition - RACK'd.  Random Acts of Christmas Kindness.  I found it on a stay at home mom blog I follow.  This, more than the Elf on the Shelf, really embodies what I want my kids to learn of the Christmas spirit.  I hope it catches on.  You try to do a small kindness each day for others.  Our list simple, some are gifts, some are acts of service.  All are done with the best intentions of sharing kindness with others to help spread the Christmas spirit.  My kids are in love with this idea.  Each morning they wake up ready to give something to others, which makes me one proud mama.  I am getting far more out of our RACK'd project than the kid or recipients, I am feeling overwhelmed  with joy from watching my kids, it is definitely more than enough to keep a smile on my lips all December long!